Birthdays: Ukrainian Style!

We just returned from the most heart-warming birthday celebration with our two daughters at the orphanage. We hope we can help you to feel the joy, warmth and tenderness we saw shared among the children and staff on our daughter's special day!

When we first arrived at the orphanage and met our youngest, whose birthday it was, we were pleased to see her dressed up in a special skirt of beautiful shantung silk and a blouse complete with a beaded bodice and sequins. It sounds over the top but was actually very cute and she was easily the stand-out of the party. Her hair was down (usually it is up in a pony-tail) and had special braids and hair ribbons. We asked who helped her with her hair and it was one of the older girls (age 15-16?) that shares the older daughter's room.

The excitement was palpable as we waited in the girl's room for party time to arrive. Much preparation was done and when we entered with the party girl the table was set, complete with china and cookies, and all the children were quietly waiting for her arrival. Next the caregivers and children put the birthday girl in the center and they made a circle holding hands around her. They sang several songs to her while circling her and she beamed with joy.

Then it was time for the gift-giving ceremony which just about broke our hearts. One by one each child was chosen to enter the circle and face the celebrant with their gift, but before presenting the gift they each gave a short speech, giving their blessings and best wishes. Galya said a general translation was something like..."you are a good friend. I want to wish you blessings with your new family and happiness and love. I will miss you" as they handed her a gift. Many of the gifts were small stuffed animals that are most likely from their collection of personal possessions. As Pam (who made the adoption journey two years ago) said, "those who have so little are so generous" and we saw that today!

After the gift-giving there was an exciting (and a bit terrifying to new parent views) tradition where they put the birthday girl in a chair (mind you - a sturdy yet heavy wooden chair) and the boys (none older than 13 yrs) grabbed the chair and lifted it from the floor high (at times almost to shoulder height) up and down - 10 times for her 10 years of life!! It was wild, crazy and looked the ride of a lifetime!! She was smiling and laughing from ear to ear. I kept looking at the caregivers who seemed as relaxed as could be - so when in Ukraine...

The entertainment was not quite over as several of the younger boys (ages 5-7) gave an impressive gymnastic demonstration, flying across the floor with high speed cartwheels. Very nice:)

Then it was time for food. Galya and her husband Kostia made a grand appearance with more food than I thought possible for these kids to devour - but wrong again I was...
We set out two good-sized and actually quite sophisticated "cakes" on each plate, along with an apple and an orange and juice. The orphanage had also provided plates of traditional cookies and small candies. The feast began! We were so impressed with the orderly and polite table manners. Not one child asked for a different selection or something he saw on his neighbors plate. And to my surprise just about every cake, apple and orange as well as most cookies and candy were gone at the end of the celebration. David says the kids have a paleolithic appetite...feasting when possible so as to be ready for the next famine. To be fair, we know the kids are fed well at the orphanage, but it's obvious they don't get these kinds of treats in the abundance we are all used to.

At the end of the party many of the older children helped to clean up, including the boys, and they hung around to see what "Mama and Papa" had brought as presents. They were so excited to be a part of the fun and seemed truly happy for our girls, even as you sensed they wished it was their turn to have someone come make them a part of a family again. A bittersweet sentiment but one which brought tears to my eyes many times today. We feel privileged to get to know many of these sweet children and will remember them long after we are back home.

Lots of love, Lorelle and David